Net zero Christmas

Digital vaccine passports just the ticket to Brave New World

Rebecca Weisser

Getty Images

Rebecca Weisser

17 December 2022

9:00 AM

And so this is Christmas, as Mr Lennon crooned, and Christians had better make the most of it. You don’t have to be John the Baptist to see that a religious celebration of the birth of Christ is not compatible with the zeitgeist.

While no government has explicitly mentioned targets – at least not yet – it is obvious that there is a thinly concealed goal to achieve a 43 per cent reduction in Christian participation in the public square by 2030 and net zero traditional Christians by 2050.

Ambitious countries and sub-national entities – Canada and Victoria come to mind – are obviously keen on reaching that target within the terms of their current governments. But with a little help from the World Health Organisation (WHO), governments who prospered thanks to their pandemic management may still be in office in 2050.

Why? Because if you think that another pandemic isn’t likely because we’ve just survived a once-in-a-100-year event, you’re forgetting that on 22 July this year, WHO Director-General Dr Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus declared the monkeypox outbreak a Public Health Emergency of International Concern, the highest level alert that it can issue, after only 16,000 cases and five deaths.

This was despite the fact that there was no consensus to do so among the members of the WHO’s emergency committee. And as for Covid, Pfizer enrolled almost 44,000 people in its trial which ran from 27 July to 14 November 2020 and in that time only 170 people caught Covid and nobody died of it. Not exactly the Black Death.

The WHO demonstrated incomparable incompetence over the last three years. It failed to stop Covid in Wuhan, covered up its origins, lied about the value of repurposed drugs and endorsed the immunisation of people who weren’t at risk with a dangerous vaccine that didn’t stop transmission. Yet at the Bali summit of the G20 in November – whose members represent 60 per cent of the world’s population, 75 per cent of exports, and 80 per cent of economic output – global leaders put the Peter principle into perilous practice. They decided, in their wisdom, to put Dr Ted, or whoever succeeds him as panic merchant-in-chief, in charge of deciding not just what constitutes an international health emergency – presumably anything that causes five deaths is a candidate – but of the response.

And to help Dr Ted respond to the ‘unparalleled multidimensional crises’ not just of Covid but of climate change, the G20 leaders acknowledged the importance of ‘digital solutions and non-digital solutions, including proof of vaccinations’ to ‘facilitate seamless international travel’ and agreed to establish ‘trusted global digital health networks as part of the efforts to strengthen prevention and response to future pandemics, that should capitalise and build on the success of the existing standards and digital Covid-19 certificates’. The icing on the cake is that the G20 leaders recorded their support for the WHO’s mRNA Vaccine Technology Transfer hub’. That’s something to spread Christmas cheer.

The merging of Covid and climate change offers the prospect of endless lockdowns not just to try to rid the world of excess trace elements like carbon dioxide and the latest bioengineered virus but also of Christianity, which has shown greater resilience than the already vanished Wuhan strain of Sars-CoV-2.

Using a combination of taxes and bans the climate ‘progressives’ are driving up the cost of living via the cost of energy until it reaches a tipping point when no one other than Bill Gates and his mates, Hollywood celebrities, the ultra-rich and an army of public servants will be able to afford or just be allowed to do anything. Whatever energy is produced by the cartel of wind turbine operators and the sultans of solar arrays will be used to power the surveillance cameras in Smart Cities that are already being built around Australia.

Christmas will be a carbon-neutral opportunity to exchange social credits. Santa won’t have to shrink his girth – thou shalt not fat-shame is an inviolable addition to the new Ten Thousand Commandments – but he will have to shrink his carbon footprint. No more gadding around the globe in a sleigh drawn by methane-farting reindeer.

Christmas won’t be banned, it will just be made more ‘inclusive’ by excluding white supremacists, homophobes, misogynists and people who cling to their King James Bibles. Clearly, it won’t do to allow people with ‘divisive views around abortion and homosexuality’ to be jolly. The notion that faith is a ‘personal thing’ is anathema in our Brave New World as Andrew Thorburn, who almost certainly holds the record for the shortest tenure as CEO of a football club, discovered.

In order to weed out the dangerous extremists, the faithful will recite a Credo with various new elements like that backed by the Dean of Trinity College Dr Michael Banner that Jesus was non-binary. The unfairly maligned Roman soldier in the Passion who was wrongly alleged to have ‘pierced His side with spear’ (an early example of fake news) was actually performing the first gender affirming surgery in the Miracle of the Menstruating Front Bottom.

The Commandment, ‘Thou shalt not kill’ is another example of misinformation. It was wrongly truncated by Moses. What God actually said was, ‘Thou shalt not kill until the appropriate forms have been filled out’. Canada is leading the way in this field with euthanasia offered as an alternative to waiting for the bus, finding a parking spot, making your bed or numerous other things that people don’t particularly feel like doing.

Klaus Schwab’s prophetic reinterpretation of the Bible will become gospel. What Jesus meant when he said ‘Blessed are the poor’ was ‘You will own nothing and you will be happy’. With a little help from the World Economic Forum, the miracle of manna from heaven will become the miracle of the mealy worms, a divine message to the Ancient Hebrews to ‘eat ze bugs’. Until then, have yourself a Merry little Christmas.

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Published by Nelle

I am interested in writing short stories for my pleasure and my family's but although I have published four family books I will not go down that path again but still want what I write out there so I will see how this goes

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