Posted by Editor, cairnsnews
A bypass road for the Kuranda Range is well into the planning stages by private means and has passed every test as a viable route from Mareeba to Cairns taking 20 minutes off the existing dangerous Kuranda Range track with its outdated, derelict, Barron River traffic bridge.
In spite of the garbage spewed forth by the Labor state member for Barron River and former ambulance attendant Craig Crawford, there would not be one house resumption , there would be no added traffic to Intake Road at Redlynch, no tunnels and it can be built in 18 months for $450 million.
This is $1.5 billion cheaper than Member for Kennedy Bob Katter’s ‘wobbly way’ to Edmonton and without heavy transport inhibiting tunnels.
In a public tussle between Crawford and Bob Katter every bogey man possible has been dreamt up by poor Craig, in between drinks of course, believing houses will be bulldozed presumably with occupants intact and the job will take 15 years. Then he found two martians drinking at the bar under his house and discovered all his port and brandy had disappeared.
After a brawl with the slippery aliens, a somewhat bruised Craig called the ambos but they were too busy carting vaxx-damaged victims to the overflowing Cairns Base Hospital and told him to visit the local doctor.
He got his missus to drive him the few hundred metres but the clinic staff wouldn’t let him in because he hadn’t been jabbed.
Ah well back to Smithfield Tavern to top up his depleted supplies, nurse his bruises and lie-in-wait near his bar with a baseball bat for the martians to reappear.
Craig is moving his office from Smithfield away from the nearby ambulance station in case he is called to re-enlist as a driver to help replace the 600 ambos he and his Cabinet colleagues sacked because they won’t take the deadly jab. Nor will Craig – the Premier said he doesn’t have to.
He is off to Redlynch to set up his new office, fortuitously near the shops and in case the martians come back, he can walk to the bottleo.
After Tablelands commuters threatened to lynch poor Craig last year over the poor state of the Kuranda Range Road and its 1000 daily, heavy vehicle movements, he promised the problem would soon be fixed.
He told ABC Radio he would place driver-less cars on the range and that would stop the cars and trucks from careering over the edge.
That didn’t go too well with many angry truckies thinking he was looking through the bottom of a brandy bottle while he was solving the problem.
Nevertheless now he is installing a system of stop and go lights along the length of the range road trying to stifle the traffic flow.
The cabling contract alone will cost $30 million and it’s anybody’s guess what the completed project will cost or if it will work.
Poor Craig, he wasted $30 million on the range road that was declared obsolete by the Main Roads Department in 2005. Those funds could have provided the necessary corridor for the proposed Reddicliffe Highway from Mareeba to the Cairns CBD.
If the state government had anything to do with the road construction then it would most likely take 20 years to build, one astute engineer quipped.
“We can build it in 18 months,” the engineer said.
Craig was being conservative probably for the first time in his life at 15 years.